I’m a bit of a wayward Believer. My Facebook even says so – back in the days when you could fill in the blanks, instead of being put into the “Other” category for having anything more creative than “traditional orthodox Judaism”, my self-description was “(currently) non-practicing Believer” and I felt that fit me. Hence why I put it there… but I’ll save my rant on Facebook for another day.
I grew up in a Christian home. My dad is Catholic, my mom Protestant. Dad was more traditional in his beliefs, Mom more active. And more temperamental. We changed Christian churches several times, on the days Dad didn’t get me out of bed for 8 am Mass in Billings, or load us all up for 11 am Mass in Tonkawa with Grandma and my aunt, plus my uncle and his family most Sundays. I started attending a Wednesday night youth group in Blackwell at a small, non-denominational, very action-driven church that dissolved about a year after I started attending. Needless to say, my religious upbringing was not consistent. I grew up with an understanding of the Bible, a fear of God (until I was like 15, I was terrified to cuss in my internal monologues, for fear God would strike me down where I stood. Dunno where I got that idea.), and a genuine desire to do the right things.
My other half mirrors me in this — he has a bad taste in his mouth for organized religion and those infamous “Sunday Christians” and would much rather live his life the right way, doing good by people and following the Golden Rule, love your neighbors but lock your door style, without worrying if he’s following every Law in the Bible exactly right. A lukewarm approach to religion, perhaps, but a dang sight better than a lot of people you see.
I know a great number of Godly people, and I don’t mean to offend anyone by choosing a less-than-devout approach. I’m just framing our attitudes toward religion – being in church makes you no more a Christian than being in a garage makes you a car; religion is a personal relationship with our Creator, and at the end of the day, you answer to Him.
With that belief in mind, but still considering my upbringing, I still feel compelled to go to a church and fellowship with people. It just seems like the thing to do, to not rely 100% on my own understanding and interpretation of the Bible to be my moral compass. My other half does not feel this same compulsion, so pending projects in the shop take precedence over his soul on Sunday mornings. Last week, he told me, “it’s a cowboy church, it’s hay season, no one will mind if you show up without your husband.” But I couldn’t bring myself to do it… I’m not sure why. I went to a church by myself once in Indianapolis. One church, one weekend. But I still proved to myself that I’m not afraid to do things alone. Maybe I just feel like it’s something I should share with my other half. After all, it doesn’t make much sense to start a diet or a business without your spouse’s involvement and support – why embark on a serious attitude adjustment without him?
Obviously, the chicken in me won out again this week.
I found a blog, The Inspired Room, last night, and spent a few frustrating minutes on my smart phone eagerly devouring her home decor pics and inspiration before I gave up and resumed browsing on my PC this morning. After oohing and ahhing and setting my own brainstorm a’brewin, I noticed a link on the sidebar for another blog, Time Out, which is a blog of devotionals from a SAHM who shares her day to day adventures of being a mother, a wife, and a Godly individual. I read a couple really touching posts, and then ran across Queen of the Castle – the answer to my unspoken prayer. She reminded me of my favorite chapter – Proverbs 31 – and my guidelines for wife and mother and woman. Truly inspirational.
A flurry of motivation to scratch this blog of my own out for you (my… 3? devoted followers.) and I’m going to re-read my destiny, and get my butt into gear on taking care of the house. I’ve been feeling a bit purpose-less and in the way lately… maybe some devotional time is all it’ll take to get my optimism back on track.
Reading inspirational blogs, rediscovering beloved Scripture, and making a happy, cheerful, clean home for my loving husband. Sounds like a rewarding Sunday morning to me!