50 Thoughts Every Runner Has in 3 Miles… No? Just me?

Monday was only going to be a three mile run, and I was feeling pretty fiesty. Normally my runs aren’t this animated, but here’s a sneak peek into the mind of an easily distracted runner…

0.0 These shorts are way too short.
.25 Clap along with me if you feel like a room without a roof…Because I’m happpppppy happy happy. Man, they did a good job on that at church yesterday, I wonder how long they practiced. Did they know Nathan was planning, or were they playing around at practice one day and played it and just now got to break it out?
.4 one bug in the mouth. There’s usually spiderwebs here, why am I catching bugs?
.5 Oooh ooh yeah jazz hands Because I’m (left left) happy (right right) happy (left left) happy. You know, I’m not really coordinated. Bum bum bum yeah!
.6 oooh a walk break! You know, when our running group starts up again, I’m gonna make them stretch during the first walk break. While walking. Lunges? Knees over your toes! I could lunge right now. Ooh time to run!
.7 Truck on the crossroad. Is it coming my way? You know, running the south route while they’re cutting may not have been the best idea. I still don’t have all my reflective junk. I’m pretty excited about the new shorts. These are too short. Whew, truck not coming.
.9 We’re not even to a mile yet? Ugh this run is never going to end. You know, it’s on my 101 list to solve problems while I’m running. I should solve a problem… I don’t think I have problems right now. Because I’m haaaappppppyyy…
1.1 Truck truck truck. Oh it’s the neighbor. I feel like I’m running in underwear…. yeah these shorts were a bad idea, because people ALWAYS see me. Wave! I don’t need that, they already think I’m crazy for running, I don’t need to be that crazy running hoochie lady. Oh a walk break.
1.4 Okay I’m going to those trees and then turning around, that’ll make sure and get my three.
1.5 Or maybe we should do a couple walk breaks-worth of dynamic stretching. You’re really not warm enough by the first one. Reach up up up out out, right arm across,  left arm across. After is good too.
1.57 Aaaaaaaand we’re turning. Do I need to run on the right and balance my hips out? No, too many hills here, I should stick left for now. It’s nice I can actually hear my watch tonight. Why doesn’t Nike make them louder?
1.7 That sunset sure is pretty. It’s getting dark so fast, though. I definitely need to switch the contrast on my watch back to where it was.
1.8 Of course, I get a car behind and a car in front, right as I get to my corner, right as it’s time for a walk. Okay back car first, now front car, now look both ways before making the corner and NOW stop… and take an extra five walking.
2.1 Home stretch. I should ask the neighbors what their dogs names are. They’re sweet girls. A german shepherd and a lab. They’re barking at me. You’re okay baby, you’re fine.
2.3 I’ll be able to call this a three car, one bug run. That’s basically like success in my book.
2.5 I never told my boss about all the reflective junk my husband made me buy. She’ll get a kick out of it.
2.6 Jazz hands again? Happy happy happy.
2.7 No. Still not coordinated for that.
2.8 Two bugs. Dang it. I wonder what will happen when I’m lit like a Christmas tree, will I catch more bugs? I’m really more excited about the other stuff. Am I opening right away, or an I going to stockpile and gift myself over time?  I did order a lot of running stuff over the weekend…
2.9 I’m glad I set beef out to thaw before I left. I should have mentioned how nice it would be to have it browned when I got home. It’ll be okay. It’s not that much later than normal. It’s just dark. My summer is leaving me! You know, tonight would make a funny stream-of-consciousness blog post. I bet I can remember everything. I started doing jazz hands at the half mile line so I must have been singing at a quarter…
3.0 Almost to the house, not taking this walk break. I soooo have to go to the bathroom.
3.1 To the corner! Sprint!! Yeah! Nailed it! Now what’s for supper?

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